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.She bought on feel alone.However, after purchasing thecomfortable coat, Beth would see an attractive coat in a store window,regret her choice, and think, "Oh, I wish I'd bought an attractive coat likethat!"What Beth needed was a decision-making program that automaticallyconsidered both the comfort (feel) and the look of the coats before sheboughtDepending upon the decision you are making, one sensory system maybe more important than others.For instance, if I am selecting a record, itmakes sense to pay more attention to its sound than to the picture on thecover.However, for many decisions, all of our sensory systems areimportant.If you select someone to date only on the basis of how thatperson looks, you may pick an attractive person, but not notice in advancethat the person has a horrible tone of voice until you have to listen to themtalk for an entire evening.For this kind of decision, you probably want toconsider all your data how you've seen them move; the sound of theirvoice and what they talk about; your feelings when you're with them, andwhat it feels like to be touched by them.Considering all sensory systemsbefore deciding can be built into your automatic way of making decisions.4.Future Consequences: Many people do not consider the longer-term consequences of their decisions.For instance, people with weightproblems typically think of the immediate pleasure of eating, but not of thefuture unpleasantness of being overweight.Adding an experience of thefuture into the decision process can result in a profound change in the waya person makes decisions, as we describe in Chapter 19.For an example of doing this, see the excellent videotaped clientsession, "Making Futures Real," with Leslie Cameron-Bandler (see Appen-dix II).Probably no other brain program has more impact on our lives thandecision-making, because it's involved in almost everything we do.When-ever someone has a difficulty, one of the first things we ask ourselves is,"What kind of decision-making could have created this situation?" Then wefind out how this person makes decisions.If the problem results from poordecision-making, offering a better way to make decisions will solve theperson's complaint and also many other problems in his life.This is whatwe call a generative use of NLP, offering ways to get much more thanpeople know how to ask for. Dealing 17with DisasterKate had worked for us about two years when she came inone morning, her eyes bulging, her skin abnormally white.She definitely did not look her best.She stopped me upstairsin the kitchen where I was getting breakfast for our boys, on her waydownstairs to the office."Did you hear about what happened?!" With anunusual urgency in her voice, she recounted the details of the accident thenight before."I saw the whole thing! A car went out of control right in frontof me last night If I hadn't slammed on my brakes, it would have run rightinto me.Two people were killed, and two are in intensive care."Kate had watched a car go out of control, veer inches in front of her,crash into a van, flip over and land on its roof.She stopped her carimmediately and got out, both wanting to help and not wanting to face whatshe might see.Kate apprehensively carried a blanket over to the van, whereshe saw a man sitting on the ground, obviously hurt, with blood on his faceand arm.As she watched, the man slumped back onto the ground, his eyesrolling upward, showing white.Kate panicked, thinking he might have died."I couldn't handle the possibility that he had just died, so I walked away."Kate only waited long enough to make her accident report, and then leftin a state of shock.The first time I listened to her story about the accident I thought, "It'sunderstandable that she's very shaken.She watched the fatal accident, andknows it could easily have been her." Seeing something like that usuallymakes people think about their mortality.However, each time she came into work over the next few days, she had something new to report about177 178 HEART OF THE MINDthe accident, always with the same urgency in her voice and disturbed lookon her face."Have you heard what they found out now about the personin intensive care?" The accident seemed to be consuming all her wakingattention.Kate, too, became concerned about her response to the accident, andwanted to change it She told me that since the accident, she had been verynervous any time she was in a car.Her nervousness was even worse at nightand when others were driving.She kept imagining accidents were going tohappen, and panicking.Kate had to drive past the scene of the accidentevery day on her way home from work.Even after arriving safely at herhouse, she repeatedly went over the details of the accident in her mind,keeping herself in a state of anxiety.Although the accident scene had been unpleasant, that wasn't whatwas bothering Kate.What deeply concerned her was that she had beenunable to help when the man slumped over.She had wanted to help, butcouldn't.That was when she "lost it"Kate told me that the feeling she got when she panicked at the accidentreminded her of the feeling she used to get as a child when her mother wokeher up in the middle of the night and shook her violently.Kate said shealways felt out of control, and mentally "left" when her mother did thatIt seemed likely that this abusive history had contributed to her intensereaction to the accidentCreating PanicI asked Kate to go back and remember the accident just before herpanic, in order to find out exactly what made her respond so strongly.Wediscovered that when she saw the man lying there, she focused on his bloodyface, and "zoomed in." The more she zoomed in close on his face, the moreshe felt out of control and frozen.As Kate did this with me in herimagination, her whole body became tight and immobile.Zooming inclearly worked to produce panic in Kate.When I asked Kate to "unzoom"the face and move it further away, she felt better.Her whole body relaxedand began to move again [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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